Posts

Trauma

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 Been a while since I last posted. A lot has gone on and here I am again with some more thoughts for you to ponder on.  Trauma............. I made a video last night about my thoughts on this mainly because a few things happened yesterday that put trauma and the long term effects it has on people because it was so heavy on my head I couldn't just write it down. So now, I am attempting to write things down...Here we go..................... Yesterday morning I was watching a new documentary on STARZ about the NXIVM cult. I have seen documentaries on the organization before but this new series talks to India Oxenburg, who is the daughter of actress Catherine Oxenburg, the daughter of the Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia. What made this interview appealing because the last series I watched, Catherine was still working on getting her daughter out of that cult...and now she is out and told her side of the story. One of the things that stuck with me was how the leader who they referred to
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Today, Ashley, We Believe God Wants You to Know.........

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Today, Ashley, God wants you to know that it's time to start living in the present. Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly healed. But, the past is past and living there may be preventing you from fully experiencing the present. Likewise fear of what may be looming around the corner can also prevent you from fully enjoying the present. Live in the moment and look forward to eternity with God, now that's a great present. As soon as I made the decision to stop letting the thoughts of the past hold me back any longer I receive the above message.......
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As Real As It Gets............

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You never know when it will all end. It can all end in a second. Life is too short to spend it sad, anxious and depressed bc of other people.  All I want in life is to be happy and make a better life for my kids. A house with a fenced in back yard and a nice deck so Isaiah can play outside. Kids will each have their own rooms. And I would have to move my mom in.  After everything I have been through I am not the person I used to be. Life circumstances have changed me and it's not for the worse; it's for the better. After a traumatic experience God pulled me out of the darkest place in my life. I was deeply depressed. I don't know if the growling I heard, the footsteps I heard or the breathing in my face I felt was real or a part of the trauma. All I know is that God lifted me up out of misery to continue on with my life...... I woke up at 5am this morning with sad thoughts about people in my past that have left my life.  Like with Aaron. "All th
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Autism, Sensory Sensitivities

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I have come to realize the sensory system in Isaiah could be a reason why he is resistant to many things. I don't want to push him or force him to do something that his sensory deems as unsafe or uncomfortable. It we can relate this to neurotypical behavior, we may for example, avoid eating certain foods because of flavor, texture, etc. And asking an autistic child to do something could be detrimental more than helpful. I think forcing an autistic child to do something they are not comfortable with can cause anxiety and maybe even cause more stimming for the child to deal with it. The autistic mind may be different but to the autistic child it is normal.  So how do we fix this? Because society and the school system wants to make children more like (those their age) and force them to be neurotypical I think me as a parent should do what I deem as best for my son. The best thing I can do is allow him to be himself and do what he needs to do that helps him cope in uncomfortab
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Do You Boo!

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From my personal journal: "All my life I have done things to fit in with the crowd and now that I am being myself and doing what I need to do to be happy it seems like every other relationship around me is falling apart......" New job, working towards a college degree and working on things for the success of my son. Everything about his personality says sweet, calm and a good kid and behind the scenes is his mama running around like a crazy woman to make life easier for him.
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The Real You

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I posted this on facebook yesterday: " Don't let what somebody did to you or say to you ruin your life. Those people are out living their life, you should do the same but keep your distance. Always be true to YOU, always love YOU and do what is best for YOU. If you need help figuring it out, start by listening to positive words, go on youtube and listen to TD Jakes, Joel Osteen. Sign up for daily devotionals from Joel Osteen and The Life daily devotionals. Start listening to meditations while you sleep. Fill your  timelines and instagrams with positivity and unfollow the garbage. Take care of YOU don't worry about who is out here doing what thinking you might miss out on something. I'm tellin you life is way too short to be letting the words or actions of another slow you down and get you down. Life is definitely too short to be anything but the true, authentic YOU. Let today be the day you start to make positive changes for your life and watch what happens."
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Abuse

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The Power & Control Wheel I want to take a moment to talk about "abuse". I am no expert on the subject but I think it's important to recognize the signs. When I went through a time in life where I was experiencing abuse I didn't think of it as such at the time. When it was mentioned to me by law enforcement and my therapist I was seeing at the time I thought it was ridiculous and that I was "taking things too far".  One thing I noticed is the abuser makes themself look like the victim.  The question is, when you recognize someone being abused by another how do you approach this? Do you leave it alone or do you say something?
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